Dick Hurtz:
The last time I owned a fixie I was twelve. As I got older, it seemed appropriate that I should get a geared bike. More gears equal more functionality. I wasn’t necessarily a BMXer either; I wanted to upgrade to a bike that could get me anywhere.
Apparently though, there is a huge following behind fixies. Everywhere in the nation, college kids and people of that age are riding fixies. I have a friend in Berkeley who tells me of the fixie culture there and how he hates it. When he described it, it was almost like the hate for fixies was as strong as the hate for yuppies in the nineties.
Here is my take on fixies and geared bikes.
Fixie Pros:
1) They are “cool” and “trendy.” If you own a fixie, you belong to a group of people who think they’re better than everyone else. People who rock the fixie tend to be xenophobic in who they interact with; those riding mountain bikes are quickly shot down when talking to a fixie.
2) You don’t have to worry about shifting with a fixie. Who has the brainpower to figure out those crazy shift levers? I know I certainly don’t. Shifting is too difficult. Already I have to know how to brake, but to shift as well? That’s for super-geniuses.
3) Chicks dig fixies. You’ll never have to go to another party again, as long as you’re riding a fixie to school. Girls will flock to your awesomeness flirt with you for no reason, other than you’re riding a fixie. It will be good, and it will be because you’re riding a fixie. Hallelujah!
Fixie Cons:
1) You will get the crap beaten out of you by people sick of your shit. Think next time before pretending you’re Marty Mcfly, hanging onto the side of a Fed-Ex truck to get from A to B. That ex-con driver will see you and kill you.
2) You are limited to flat roads if you’re not feeling limber. Riding a fixie religiously requires a lot of leg power and stamina. Not good if you plan on leaving IV.
Geared Bike Pros:
1) You can ride up hills without pulling a muscle. All you have to do is flick your thumbs a couple of times to get to the highest gear and you’re good to go. You can ride all over beautiful SB without worrying about avoiding the big hills. You can even plan a workout on biking up the Santa Ynez mountains. Try it someday – you’ll feel like a god when you reach the top. Everyone will look like ants and the endorphins rushing through your system will give you a great sense of peace.
2) Road bikes are fast. They are also slick as fuck and can reach speeds of thirty miles an hour on flat roads. Going down hills I’ve gotten my road bike to forty miles an hour.
3) Geared bikes are fun as shit. Mountain biking is an awesome sport where you get to wear frickin’ body armor. Body armor! How sick is that. You’ll also get to bike in crazy forests with amazing scenery. With road bikes, you’ll be able to get wherever you want, twice as fast as a mountain bike, and probably eight times faster than a fixie. When you get to where you’re going, you’ll feel like you’ve just stepped out of a Porsche.
Geared Bike Cons:
1) You’re a loser if you ride a geared bike. Everyone knows that.
2) You have to maintain a geared bike. If something happens with the shift levers/cables, you’ll get an annoying rattling sound around your cassette. With fixies, you don’t have to worry about sounding like a can of beans.
3) If you don’t know how to dress with a road bike, you might end up looking like a bike fairy. Personally, I wear bike shorts under basketball shorts to avoid rashing.
I have a mountain bike (that I got off a police auction for one hundred bucks) and a road bike. I used to own a fixie; a red and black, Mongoose BMX bike. I rode it to school everyday, but I hated coming home up the hills. It was then I went to Kmart and got a cheap mountain bike. Every since then I’ve never gone back to fixies.
So what should you ride around IV? A fixie/cruiser. Cruisers look sweet and they do a basic job of getting to class. If you have a fixie other than a cruiser, that you bought because you’re trendy, then I guess that’s cool too.
However, If you use a roadbike or mountain bike, you’re making a bigger statement (like when you wear pink shirts). You don’t care what people think of you. You’re counter-culture and you know it. You’ll be getting around faster and you’ll look badass doing it (for example, riding down huge fleets of stairs with a mountain bike).
Find Out More About What Your Bike Says About You
Learn How To Ride Your Bike Around Isla Vista and UCSB
I know that I’m not the only one reading this who thinks you’re a complete imbecile.
First off, a “fixie” isn’t just a single speed bike like a BMX bike or a cruiser like you seem to have misinterpreted. Nor is it an adjective to describe someone who rides a “fixed gear” or track bike.
Secondly, your overall assumption and evaluation of people who ride fixed gear bikes is stereotyped. Not all people who ride fixed gears and track bikes are pricks who criticize people who don’t ride, or ride other bicycles. In fact, if you didn’t pay any attention to the stereotypical “sick fixxie ridah” and did your research by actually communicating and becoming involved in our community, you’d realize that not only are most people extremely legitimate human beings that are open minded and whole hearted, but you’ll also learn that they don’t only ride their “sick fixie whipz”. Many of them are expert cyclists who own different types of bikes and excel in mountain biking, road biking, cyclocross racing and other forms of cycling including bmx and basic commuter cycling. And on top of that, they aren’t elitist pricks; they actually offer their knowledge to further educate a fellow member of our closely knit cycling community.
Before putting pen to paper or fingers to keys, do your research and escape the alcohol absent minded dystopia of Isla Vista enough to remember what you learned in your journalism class. Research before writing helps you to NOT look like a completely bigoted, ignoramus douche bag
2005 called. They want their news back.
3rd grade called, they want their insults back.
the jerk store called and they’re running out of you
I am dick hurtz!
Hello There
BTW – Im up to about 100 visitors per day.
Hey
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Sincerly