Dear Pirate: Advice on Erectile Dysfunction, Relationship Maintenance and Boxers or Briefs

Dear Pirate: Advice on Erectile Dysfunction, Relationship Maintenance and Boxers or Briefs

Dear Pirate: When I get drunk, I can never get it up. It gets pretty embarrassing… What should I do?
Dear Whiskey Dick: First of all, if it’s going to be that big of a problem, it’s probably a good idea to stay a little more sober and ease up on the sauce. Secondly, if you’re in a tough situation, the best thing you can do is take it in stride and make it the best experience for her. Although, this could be pretty hard on you, don’t expect her to throw you a bone. As long as she ends the encounter on a good note, chances are that you’ll be getting a callback when you’re (hopefully) in a less flaccid state. Luckily for you the expectations aren’t that high because most women (should) know that when they go out drinking, they might see men in your state. Hopefully this aids you and your one eyed warrior.

Dear Pirate: My boyfriend and I just hit the 6-month mark, and it’s like he just doesn’t care anymore. He’s being a total asshole and keeps blowing me off to go hang out with his friends.
Dear Half-Year: At this point in the relationship, your boyfriend knows that he’s in, and doesn’t really focus on the romance anymore. This just means the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over. You will start to see the other’s flaws even more, but the more you work on keeping the relationship going, the greater the emotional payout. Or maybe you’re just annoying and the only way he can escape your constant nagging is to hang out with his friends.


Dear Pirate: Boxers or Briefs?

Dear Tighty Whitey: If you’re over the age of 10 and under the age of 60, throw out your Fruit of the Loom white cotton undies right now and switch to a better brand with higher quality fabric. And make sure they are NOT white. If you like the support of briefs, but feel that boxers have too much fabric, then boxer-briefs are the way to go. Boxers are the undergarments of choice, of course, and for good reason – they’re comfy. Then we have man-thongs. If you are not a male stripper, swimmer, or water polo player, you have absolutely no reason to where a thong or a Speedo. Throw it out right now. Then we have edible underwear. If you like wearing grape flavored briefs and playing “find the fruit roll up” with your significant other, that’s your prerogative… I’m not commenting on it. Finally, there is “going commando.” Here’s the thing about going commando. Most guys who go commando actually tell people that they’re going commando. I’m not a girl, but I’m fairly certain that it’s not as sexy to hear a guy say “I’m not wearing any underwear,” than it is the other way around. Honestly, if you’re not in the bedroom, closet, bathroom, kitchen counter, recliner, hospital bed, his place, her place, the beach, public restroom, at a wedding, or in a brothel, keep your skivvies to yourself.

Check out Dear Pirate Freshman Edition and for something entirely random check out What Women Look for in a Man

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