By Alex Smith:
Recently, South African runner Caster Semenya blew competition away at the African junior championships in Bambous, Maritius. While Semenya broke several junior world records, including the 800, there is speculation surrounding her gender. Although her father and trainer claim these allegations are false, the IAAF insists Semenya undergoes gender testing. Semenya’s grandmother said, “(The controversy) doesn’t bother me that much because I know she’s a woman – I raised her myself.” She continued, “She called me after (the heats) and told me that they think she’s a man. What can I do when they call her a man, when she’s really not a man? It is God who made her look that way.”
These allegations are not entirely unusual. In 1932 Polish sprinter Stella Walsh won a gold medal at the 1932 Olympics in Berlin. However, after Walsh’s murder in 1980 (she was shot during a robbery) her autopsy showed she was actually a transexual.
IAAF spokemen Nick Davies stated on Thursday, “Legally if you are found to be of a different sex to that declared that is not cheating.” Therefore, officially, she would not lose her medal.
This controversy lead me to launch an investigation of my own. Well into my third hour of reviewing tapes, I noticed an unusual discrepancy involving her pre-race rituals. Before races, Semenya would trim his or her beard and insisted on adjusting “her” self. Also, in the only rare post race interview I could find, Semenya’s voice reminded me of a strange mix between Darth Vadar and Barry White.
The most crucial find however, happened between my fifth and sixth hour of reviewing the tapes. I was intensely scrutinizing Semenya’s bulge when I saw what some might call hard evidence.
300 meters out, around the third turn, Semenya’s left testicle fell from his or her track shorts.
Upon picking my jaw up from the floor, I realized I had solved the puzzle.
Caster Semenya is not a man, nor a women. That’s right, Semenya is a trans-sexual. When her testicle became exposed, there was nothing left in her track shorts.
Here it comes . . . Semenya has a vagina with testicles, allowing Semenya the ablility to produce testosterone and have the speed and strength of a man, with the physique and (somewhat) looks of a women.
So, after extensive research, that’s our final conclusion – and you heard it here first!
Oh yeah, before you spout off, most the above information is purely speculation and written for humor purposes.
For a related piece check out: Rules of the Run
“hard evidence.” haha! classic.
Semen? Ya.
kinda mean. but yea whoa
Hows It Going
Very insightful, and informative. yours truly dont usually make comments, as Im kind of a blog lurker, but yours truly thought it deserved a word or two.
Hey are you a professional journalist? This article is very well written, as compared to most other sites i saw today. anyhow thank you very much for the really good read!
Me hope this is a good as your other stuff
Whats yer opinion on face?
Hello You
Sounds like a plan to me
Very good video Lisa.
What do you know about think?
Im just getting started with my new blog. Would you want to exchange links on our blog-rolls?